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Next time you think life`s not fair..think of this x large clothes cost $2 more than large so why doesn`t small cost $2 less ? Being fat ....now that`s unfair
Age sure does change your perspective. Lots of things I hated when I was a kid I love now... like having nothing to do, going to bed early, watching the news, spankings.... stuff like that.
If you want a successful relationship, find someone who likes the same thermostat setting that you do.
They`ve got this brand new machine at the gym. I only used it for about an hour because I started to feel sick, but it`s awesome - it`s got Mars Bars, KitKat Chunkys, Cheetos, crisps.... everything!
Perfect has 7 letters and so does meeeeee ....Coincidence? I think not.
You can go a long way with a smile. You can go a lot farther with a smile and a gun.
Why do people ask "What were you thinking?" Obviouly, I thought I was going to get away with it!
Why is Charmin trying to get us comfortable with bears? HELLO THEY EAT PEOPLE
If turning alcohol into bad decisions ever becomes an Olympic event, I`m bringin` home the Gold! USA! USA!
Learning how to break wooden boards in karate is important in case you ever get in a fight with a house.
Since light travels faster than sound, isn`t that why some people appear bright until you hear them speak?
If Facebook has taught us anything, it`s that a lot of people are not quite ready for a Spelling Bee.
Kissing a sleeping woman in an animated Disney movie is romantic but do it on a bus and the judge doesn`t agree.
Being an adult is mostly just wondering if the stuff in the dishwasher is dirty or clean while eating soup out of a sand castle bucket.
You know you`re drunk when you sit down on the toilet & try to put your seatbelt on