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Why is it socially acceptable to wear a bikini at the beach but not on the bus? At the end of the day I’m just a guy in a bikini on the bus.
My resolution last year was to learn Spanish, and that only lasted about dos weekos.
I wear a ski mask to bed so if there`s a home invasion, the intruder will think I`m part of the team.
I hope someone I hate hears their first Christmas song this year in October.
If they just built prisons out of the sh!t they package electronics in, no one could ever escape.
I`m a Leader not a follower. Unless it`s a dark place...then you`re going first!
Can`t reach it. Don`t need it.
If you are offended by the opinions I express you can only imagine the ones I keep to myself.
If the Dollar Store ever starts selling alcohol....drinks are on me.
I was wondering why my doctor gave me LSD for my constipation, then I saw a dragon and crapped myself.
thinks that life was a lot simpler when I thought girls had cooties, and getting to the bottom of the sandbox was a good day.
Doormats are a gateway rug.
I hate to rub it in, but lotion doesn`t really work otherwise.
I wish real life had as many ejection seats as cartoons.
The grass isn’t always greener on the other side. It’s greener where you water it.