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People need to stop putting flyers on my car. I don`t want to see a band called "Parking Violation" at the "Courthouse"
Can`t wait for Daylight Saving Time to end this weekend so the clock in my car will have the correct time.
People who are offended by offensive things offend me.
Admit it, you should be doing something else really important right now but your on Facebook again.
Whenever I pick my Grandma up from the airport, I leave my left blinker on during the entire drive so she feels more comfortable.
When someone ask me... How are you?... I answer back... You mean in bed?
I realized that at my income level "Wealth Management" really just means re-organizing the money in my wallet by denomination.
My mind is exceptionally quiet.... I am suspicious that I am up to something I don`t want myself to know about.
Shout out to bees, willing to kill themselves just to inconvenience a hater.
I love when bill collectors ask if you can borrow the money...uh I did that before and I think we both know how that turned out.
This century is already 15% over.
Hit the popcorn button on my microwave but none has appeared yet.
What idiot named them jet skis instead of boatercycles
A sheep spends it`s entire life fearing the wolf only to be eaten by the Shepherd.
Years of education, solving tough problems, handling complex issues, yet we take a while standing before glass doors thinking whether to Push or Pull.