Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I drink to make other people interesting
Tequila. For those nights you just want to pretend she`s hot.
You`ve never been truly drunk until you`ve had to use a barstool as a walker to get home.
A good example of mixed emotions would be finding a hundred dollar bill nailed to your tire.
Overwhelming scientific evidence suggests a startling number of people are capable of ignoring overwhelming scientific evidence.
Can you do me a favour? Stand in front of my car, I need to test my brakes.
How do American chickens cross the road? In a bucket.
Zoning out is your brain’s way of saying “You look bored. Let me take you to a better place.”
Before social networking you could just completely forget someone existed. And it was great
If you`re going to give me dirty looks for being at the liquor store at 10am, don`t be open.
I live like I type, fast and with lots of mistakes!
I just wanted to send you a quick note letting you know that you`re in my inappropriate thoughts.
Sometimes i wish i was an octopus, so i can slap eight people @ once!
She texted me: "Your adorable.". I replied: "No, you`re adorable." Now she thinks I like her. All I did was point out her typo!
When I die, I’d like someone to keep updating my Facebook status, just to freak people out… “Hey, who knew they had Wi-Fi up here?”