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What I lack in height, I make up for in kitchen counter climbing ability.
According to Tetley the best way to make a cup of tea is to agitate the bag so i slap her arse and shout "cup ot tea fatty"
Sh!t`s spiraling out of control and I`m all like "wheeeee."
I`m the crazy bitch you`ll never forget.
No one needs a vacation from me more than me.
99% of people are stupid. Luckily, I`m part of the other 3%.
Jogging backwards because I`m trying to gain a little weight
I`m not saying you`re an idiot. I`m just saying that....Umm how do I word this?? I guess I am saying your`e an idiot.
The Internet: where no one is afraid to say the first thing that pops into their head.
Sorry I mispronounced your baby`s name you made up.
Hey ladies! Great news! Those low riding, butt crack, hip hugger jeans are coming back in style!
I dont mind going to work, but this eight hour wait to go home is bullsh*t
Follow your dreams. Unless it’s a person ... apparently they call that stalking.
I can`t wait til the Presidential race ends so we can stop hating people for their politics and go back to hating people because they`re jerks
No, I CAN’T believe how early it’s getting dark. After 4 billion years of this happening I was sure this would be the year it didn’t.