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Teamwork is just another way of saying we will soon be sharing in the blame equally.
When I see people jogging outside I like to drive slowly down the road behind them blasting “Eye of the Tiger” just to give them motivation.
Welcome to journalism, where everything is made up, and the sources don`t matter.
I´m pretty sure I had a good time last night. Let me finish reading the police report and I´ll let you know.
Tomorrow, history will be made. Months and months of advertisements and anticipation has led up to this historic day. America will see firsthand what is surely to be a historic event, and I am proud to say I will do my part and pick up my copy of Halo 4.
I bought a used UPS truck. It gets bad gas mileage but I can park anywhere.
Hang out with different people everyday so the only person who knows you`ve been wearing the same outfit all week is you.
Safe words are for quitters.
I don`t get why people find drunk texts annoying. You`re the person they`re thinking of when their brain can`t even function properly.
boss- "You cant drink while your at work!" .. me- "Oh dont worry im not working!!"
If pi is 3.14, then I think .99 is a good deal for 2 doughnuts.
I`m a fantastic secret-keeper because, deep down, I really don`t care enough to actually talk about it to anyone else.
The word "Saturday" has "turd" in it. Good luck trying to ignore that for the rest of your life, starting now.
Would the 2 Sonic dudes just get it over with and kiss already
“I wonder how much weight I’ve lost.” -Me, after eating one healthy meal.