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I was sitting on the toilet when the guy in the stall next to me started smoking. Disgusting . . . I nearly couldn’t finish my sandwich.
My friends think I never listen to their opinions... like I give a sh*t what they think.
Why is there Head & Shoulders shampoo? Who has hair on their shoulders? Who`s shampooing their shoulder hair? ... please come forward.
Dodgeball, but with random people who don`t know that they are playing..............
I`ve never literally been tortured but I have walked behind old people when I was in a hurry.
The thing I miss most about being young is knowing everything.
My plan for today? Same as always: Drink coffee and be sexy.
It is possible to stay in your room all day and be perfectly happy.
If a$$holes could fly, this place would be an airport
you know hes a keeper when you know his facebook login and password!
Sobriety is an illusion created by alcohol deficiency.
On the 14th of December I`m going to call people and say "7 Days" then hang up...
Benefits of hooking up with me: You will be hooking up with me. I could go on but I think I made my point.
I had lunch with a chess player yesterday. It took him 20 minutes to pass the salt.
I´m thankful for Facebook. Before, I would just scream out my thoughts to anyone who would listen.