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Breaking News: Tuesdays suck just as much as Mondays.
i honestly hate saying sorry but when i do i really mean it :-)
"we can still be friend" .. is like saying "The dog died, but we can still keep him"
No matter how prepared you think you are, a retractable vacuum cord will always find the weakness in your defense.
Taking down my Christmas tree would probably just be a waste of time at this point.
is admitting to pushing Humpty Dumpty, he had it coming!!
whenever i`m bored I just expect at any moment for the Koolaid man to break through my wall and take me on a deliciously refreshing adventure!
If you love someone , let them go. If they dont come back, call them up later when your drunk and see wtf is going on.
Have you ever noticed how people who play candy crush are always saying they need a life?
Was wondering...when you have a mandatory meeting at work, why do the presenters always thank you for being there?
I`m convinced that homeless people have all the shopping carts with 4 good wheels.
Its too damn early. Even the voices in my head are still snoring.
Rob Stalker for congressman........Stalker....a name you can trust.
People always say, "You can`t have your cake and eat it too." I say, "Of course you can. Just make two cakes!"
MARRIAGE TIP: Don`t get fat.