Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
wants to remind you this Halloween, that as a general rule, don`t solve riddles that open portals to Hell.
Why does the need to pee intensify by million when you are trying to unlock the door to your house.
If you`re going to be a smartass, you must first be smart. Otherwise, you`re just an ass.
If it weren’t for physics and law enforcement, I’d be unstoppable.
I ate too much salad over the weekend so I`m going on an Oreo cleanse today.
Now I lay me down to sleep, a bottle of vodka at my feet, if I should die before I wake, tell my friends I drank it straight.
Stages of beard length: 1.) sexy stubble 2.) sea captain beard 3.) prisoner of war beard 4.) homeless person beard 5.) wizard beard
llllllloooollllll...........................i saw a donkey on a bike
I don`t live paycheck to paycheck. I live paycheck to four days before paycheck...
Paused Willy Wonka and The Chocolate Factory to go buy a Snickers. This is why I can`t watch Breaking Bad.
I got a Rolex for my birthday from my lesbian friends. I think they misunderstood me when I said I wanna watch.
They called themselves geologists because stoners was already taken.
A conclusion is the place where you got tired of thinking.
If there`s one thing I learned from my wife, it`s don`t get married!
I’m thinking there’s some type of filter that prevents normal people from like my page