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I just gave my ex a big hug which can only mean one thing. That`s right I have the flu and I love sharing.
I don`t have friends, I have acquaintances and parasites.
Why are there never any good side effects? Just once I`d like to read a prescription bottle that says, "May cause extreme sexiness."
Oh well, this time isn`t going to procrastinate itself.
Why haven’t we just found someone ballsy enough to dress up as Mrs Bigfoot and catch him already?
I have to exercise early in the morning before my brain realizes what I`m doing.
I`m looking up in the sky and I have no idea which cloud has all my data
You know you`re broke when your Bologna Does Not have a first name!
There is no angry way to say `bubbles.`
If you see me laughing like a crazy person, think nothing of it ..it`s just the voices in my head telling me jokes!
I’ve been texting so much lately that I move my thumbs from side to side when I’m actually talking to someone.
It´s not that I hate you, it´s just.. well I´ll put it this way.. if you were on fire & I had water, I´d drink it.
Love your neighbor. But don`t get caught.
I refuse to celebrate Earth Day until Wind & Fire are recognized.
Drop it! Please, just DROP IT. - My dog, whenever I`m eating.