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If you find it hard to laugh at yourself, I would be happy to do it for you.
Well kids, texting wasn`t always easy. In my day, you had to work for it. You had to want it. You need an S? You had to click that 7 button FOUR TIMES.
Look up from your phone… There’s some life going on around you.
Stop complaining about being single. We have bigger problems here. Like why McDonald’s doesn’t serve breakfast after 10:30.
A simple "good morning beautiful" text could make any girl smile for the whole day. ..but knocking on the bathroom window first to ask her number sort of ruins it for some reason.
My number one rule to live by is: Don’t die.
There are 3 reasons for ”Liking” someone’s Facebook status: 1. I agree. 2. I realise this is about me, so I’m liking it to rub it in your face. 3. I want to bang you.
Cut out the middleman and just list 911 as your emergency contact.
I thought an emu was when you sent someone a cow via cyber mail.
Why does using a straw make it so much harder to admit there’s no more soda?
Guys communicate by insulting each other, but don’t really mean it. Girls communicate by complimenting each other, but don’t really mean it.
All I need to know about you is defined by whether you ask for a cup or a cone when ordering ice cream.
I just lost my mood ring, I don`t know how I feel about that.
It`s always fun to act like you don`t see the person running to catch the elevator your in just as the door starts closing.
I hate when someone asks me where I see myself 5 years from now when I don`t even remember where the hell I was 2 days ago.