Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Dear guys: Women don`t want pictures of your d!ck. Maybe try sending a screenshot of your bank statement and see where things go.
Karaoke bars combine two of the world’s great evils: People who shouldn’t drink and people who shouldn’t sing.
Dear college students, Sorry about your GPA. - Netflix
So glad my face doesn’t have a progress bar that shows how much I’m understanding what other people are saying.
You have two choices in life: You can stay single and be miserable, or get married and wish you were dead.
I followed my heart...now I`m at the liqour store
The best sign of a healthy relationship is no sign of it on Facebook.
I`m eating a vegan lunch today. Sure, it`s six sleeves of Smarties and a Diet Coke, but I`m still better than you.
My life has a great cast, but I can’t really figure out the plot.
I wish these people who sing songs on the radio would learn the words to the song, they keep messing me up!!
I’m not lazy, I’m on energy saving mode.
I know right from wrong. Wrong is the fun one.
Morning comes in 3 sizes: 1) Early. 2) Too early. 3) Way too early
Nothing says "I love you" like my cat aggressively bathing itself immediately after I pet her.
It must be exhausting being offended by everything.