Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
You never know what you are missing,until you clean your room.
Attention fuels immaturity
This hangover feels like Quentin Tarantino directed it.
Whoever figured out that you can make cake in a mug in under a minute was probably really going through some sh!t.
You know you are old when your birthday suit doesn`t fit anymore.
When I see a man with long fingernails, my first thought is wizard. My second thought is virgin wizard.
"Size DOES matter", I whisper to my double stuffed Oreos.
I couldn`t help but notice that I would like to have sex with you more frequently!
I bet Snowmen think it`s weird that the ground is completely covered in their skin.
Dear Tequila, you were supposed to make me funnier, smarter and a better dancer. I saw the video, we need to talk.
Spontaneity is great ... as long as I have a plan.
If he uses an iPhone 5 in Taken 3 he`s going to be spending half the movie charging it.
I took a nude photo of myself ... With the light off ... You`re welcome.
Mister Rogers didn`t adequately prepare me for the people in my neighborhood.
The older I get, the more I understand someone`s desire to just say-"F*ck it. I`m going to be drunk all the time & live under this bridge."