Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Someone asked me why I use the "F" bomb so much. What the F*ck is an "F" bomb?
There are now 4 sides to every story. Yours, mine, the truth & the Internets version.
The male version of a tramp stamp should be called a douche tag.
New Years - the only day where its socially acceptable to drink this early.
You know its a bad day when your fat pants are tight :(
Farting isn`t ladylike? Well, neither is giving a blowjob, but I have never heard you complaining about that!
I’m in no shape to exercise.
The Fourth of July was an annual reminder of how useless my dog would be in a war.?
BESTFRIEND: the one you can get mad at only for a short period because you have important stuff to tell them.
My blind neighbor sure does take his dog on a lot of walks...
I don’t use Siri because I have to deal with enough women who have no personality and know everything.
The phrase “Ignore it and it will go away.” does NOT apply to being chased by a dozen cop cars.....trust me on this one.
If you love something, set it free. If it immediately bites your throat and drags you up a tree, you love a leopard and should try to escape.
After reading some marriage post, I`m beginning to suspect we all may have been married to the same person.
1) Second. 2) Minute. 3) Hour. 4) Day. 5) Week. 6) Month. 7) Year. 8) Decade. 9) Century. 10) Millennium. 11) Women buying clothes.