Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I am creating the first ever "flavored windows". They should make some of you very happy.
People always get offended when you call their baby ugly, but they never understand that they`ve offended you by showing you an ugly baby.
I hate Cheetos stains on my peignoir.........
If you ever hear me say that I missed you it`s only because I have bad aim.
How crazy is it that we used to say "three and a half inch floppy" with a straight face
Its amazing how much more tolerable thanksgiving with the family becomes after the 5th cocktail…
I`ve heard that men that are married live longer, but i`ve also heard that men that have sex live longer. Anybody know which one of them is true?
Monopoly: Destroying friendships since 1904
Rick Ross be rapping about cars he can`t even fit in.
"Thank God!!! They are finally taking these damn rubber bands off." -The last thing a lobster thinks.
Why is it called mooning when you`re actually showing uranus?
None of my girlfriends even know they`re dating me.
I call it a Cupcake Salad. And I don`t see how it`s any of your business.
Trying to be a responsible adult is messing up my social life.
I don`t get women. Also, I don`t understand them.