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Sometimes, I use big words I don`t always fully understand in an effort to make myself sound more photosynthesis.
I`m having fruit salad for dinner, well, it`s mostly grapes...crushed grapes ...ok, it`s wine, I`m having wine!
There comes a time in the day, when no matter what the question, the answer is booze.
Please God take me back to being 12 & let me start again & mess up my life in an entirely different way. I have fresh ideas.
I`m confused as to whether I`m supposed to leap or hump today.
Remember…it’s only embarrassing if you care what people think.
I`m so sick and tired of my light weight friends who can`t handle their alcohol...Last night , they dropped me 3 times when carrying me out of the bar!
My bucket list: 4 drumsticks, 2 thighs, 2 mashed potatoes with gravy, and 2 biscuits. Extra crispy.
You can tell a man`s age by how close their socks are to their knees.
A massage is just professional petting for humans.
Hard liquor because I don`t don`t have time or patience to sit around drinking 9 bottles of wine every day
No thank you, I don`t need a coaster. I won`t be putting my drink down.
The best part of being single is that you always get to be right.
I suppose cougar is a better term than old whore.
The voices in my head are not real, but they have good ideas.