Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
BEER! The official sponsor of hot days!
Do you know what would really be fun? ... No really.. If you know, tell me.. I`m bored to death.
NEVER go to a wet t shirt contest drunk. I won 2nd place.
My personal fast food philosophy: If nobody knows you went to McDonald`s, you didn`t really go to McDonalds.
If I had known "cuties" were little oranges when my wife asked me to "bring a few home," I could have avoided these awkward introductions.
Are the unmarried employees at Kraft known as Kraft singles?
If the Internet was never invented... what would we all be doing now?
If I would have known there would be a Facebook, I would have written “eff off forever” instead of “keep in touch” in your yearbook.
I’m convinced that the employees of McDonalds were just customers who could pay and are working off their bills.
Recent survey asked people in the U.S if there are too many immigrants: 17% said yes, 83% said Lo siento, no hablan Inglés
Forecast for tonight: Alcohol, low standards, and poor decisions.
I have to be funny because being hot is not an option.
I`ve dieted and worked out enough to realize that the only way I`m getting smokin` hot is by getting cremated.
"I can`t wait to have you inside me," I whispered softly to my dinner.
I’m pretty sure I have atleast one anscestor who would be pretty pissed to find out that helicopters exist and I can’t fly one.