Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
My life is a constant cycle of waiting for the weekend and then not doing anything when it comes.
I propose a toast to the booze for making life seem tolerable.
Feeling so good today ... High-five the person next to you and tell them it`s from me.
Everything is so much funnier when you`re not allowed to laugh.
That awkward moment when you`re telling the truth, but start laughing like crazy and everyone thinks you`re lying.
why would i ever pay to go to a nascar event when i could get drunk beside the interstate and cheer for cars for free
Police officer: Ma`am do you know why I pulled you over? Me: I`m just as confused as you are.
It turns out if you cry at the DMV they`ll let you take a second photo
Yoga is a great way to meet and embarrass yourself in front of women
When are they going to drug test the audience of "The Price Is Right."? No one is that happy
Facebook should have a limit on times you can change your relationship status... After 3 it should default to "Unstable"
If she owns more than 4 pairs of yoga pants, expect A LOT of text messages
I plan my entire day around the possibility of a nap.
Car alarms should sound like two chicks in a fight. I`d look out the window for that.
Life is like a bowl of soup; you only get blown if you’re hot.