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“What doesn’t kill you makes you smaller.” ~Mario
Please rephrase your question in the form of a compliment.
Home is where the pants aren`t.
Everyone has a right to their own opinion, no matter how wrong they are. And that`s why we have a problem.
When I hear someone say, "chicken pot pie," I get excited three times.
The Brain ? Forgets what I want to remember, Remembers what I want to forget.
There are times, when I actually am hungry like the wolf. But thanks to Duran Duran I can`t tell anyone without sound like a complete f*cking idiot
I think I`m approaching my "best if used by" date
Before asking a hot chick out, I wish I could first talk to the dude who`s sick of her bullsh!t.
Adam and Eve were the first people to agree to the Apple terms and conditions without reading them.
Screw you recommended serving size. You don’t know me.
A word to the wise isn`t necessary - it`s the stupid ones that need the advice.
If you want to bribe me food and beer works.
Do you think all the giraffes sit around and watch Margaret in Nebraska give birth?
Sometimes I wonder if I could get away with murder, but then I remember I can’t even eat pancakes without getting syrup all over me.