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I’m what you would call “indoorsy”
I`m pretty sure whoever coined the phrase " rise and shine", doesn`t do it anymore.
Sometimes I wanna copy someone´s status word for word and see if they notice.
“Delete, Block, Ignore” Its too bad getting rid of people in life is not as easy as it is on Facebook..
Sorry, I just saw your text from last night. Are you guys still at the restaurant?
If you lick the frosting off a cupcake it becomes a muffin, muffins are healthy :) your welcome.
I like my women like I like my motorcycles. Not ridden by all my friends.
The easiest way to find something lost around the house is to buy a replacement.
Walmart is one store where it is truly acceptable to shop in your pajamas.
I took up the game of Golf recently. . .but I had too much trouble getting through that windmill.
Everything I like is either: illegal, immoral, fattening, addictive, expensive, or impossible.
My husband told me that in some cultures women do all the housework, so I told him in some cultures blow jobs don`t exist. He`s vacuuming.
If a girl picks an iron in monopoly you know she`s a keeper
Taking a nap is always so risky like when will I wake up -- In 30 minutes? In 3 hours? In 9 years? No one can ever be sure.
I get my: Cereal from a tiger, Insurance from a gecko, Toilet paper from a bear, Financial advice from a gorilla. It`s people I don`t trust.