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Everyone has their area of expert knowledge.... if any of you need tips on how to do absolutely nothing amazingly well, let me know.
I don`t mind people sneezing in public. It`s that "Pre-sneeze face" they make that scares the hell out of me.
"i wasn`t that drunk"..Dude!you tied me to a chair and bitch-slapped me,yelling "where`s Harry Potter!!"
There aren`t enough love songs about the moment you see your luggage appear at baggage claim.
Welcome to WebMD. Type quickly, you don`t have long.
Definitely never want to own a small fruit stand in an action movie.
McDonalds ... closing thigh gaps since 1967.
The trick to successfully backing out of a parking space is to not care what happens to you or anyone else.
Juicing changed my life. I went from being overweight, to being overweight and owning a juicer.
I`m like the toughest guy in this comic book store.
Roasted beef is like regular beef except the cows family tells embarrassing stories about it, which are tough and tasteless.
I believe in living every day like it`s my last day, and on my last day, I plan to take it easy.
How many times do I have to say "excuse me" before "get the f*ck out of my way" becomes acceptable?
Twice-baked potatoes, refried beans, etc.: Damn, people, cook it right the first time or get out of the kitchen!
I got Mood Poisoning. Must have been something I hate.