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I took a sexual harassment course yesterday...I think I`m going to be pretty good at it.
Your outfit says you work in an office, but your shoes say it might have a pole in it
If you can`t handle me at my worst...I don`t blame you, neither can I.
One day my fridge will take revenge on me by opening my bedroom door every half hour, staring at me for a few minutes and then leave.
No one wants to hear about your diet. Just eat your salad and be sad.
"Hot singles in your area want nothing to do with you." -Honest spam
Flip flops are fun because every time you take a step it`s like a high-five for your feet.
I`m not judging you, I`m just trying to guess what medications you`re on.
Someone once said, “Find a job you love and you’ll never work a day in your life.” So, I’m pleased to announce the grand opening of my titty squeezing business!!
I don’t care if we don’t talk, your existence still pisses me off.
I`m sending a whole bunch of emails to random Nigerians letting them know they`ve won the Canadian lottery.
I don’t have a bad handwriting, I have my own font.
I copied and pasted your pic of what you ate...and got MORE "likes" than you did. :P
I`m more indecisive than a John in a brothel with gold credit card.
When I`m CEO of Subway, employees will no longer be called "sandwich artists." They will be "sub humans."