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I get in this weird mood where I don`t want to talk to anybody and just want to be left alone. I call this mood `Awake`
Mario Bros. Plumbing ????? (69 Reviews) Hired them to clear my drain, stomped my turtle to death and ran off with my girlfriend.
Just rescued a Coca Cola that was trapped in the fridge!
When choosing a name for your daughter, imagine her being announced in a strip club. If she doesn`t need a stage name, pick something else.
I wonder how often I’ve narrowly avoided death without even noticing.
Ironically the only way I`d watch the 50 Shades of Grey movie is if you tied me to a chair and forced me to.
The bed is always the comfiest right at the time you are supposed to be getting out of it
I received an email from a hacker that had accessed my bank account. It simply read, "LOL".
I like when google answers my stupid questions because it means I`m not the only one asking google stupid questions.
is wondering where noah kept woodpeckers on his ark
Overheard at grocery: Paper or plastic, sir? Doesn’t matter. Im bisacksual.
Be careful when you`re watching a movie with your wife. You`re gonna get blamed for whatever the guy in the movie does.
I`m saving all my good posts for when I can think of some.
I was thinking about jumping on the Patriot`s Fan bandwagon, but I am afraid that the tires would be deflated...
The problem with reality is that there’s no background music, so you never really know whether something mysterious, evil or adventurous is about to happen.