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It’s silly how we spend money on clothes when naked is free.
You lied....you don`t have a Klondike Bar do ya?
Finally 21 and now legally able to do things which i have been doing since 15….
Take your age. Subtract 3. Then add 3. That is your age.
Dear grumpy people: donuts are only $.99
Turns out people who say they love hot sauce on anything are liars. In other news, I`ve recently been banned from making the classroom coffee.
I wonder if people that live in Hawaii have screensavers of bumper to bumper traffic?
I just gave my kid ice cream because she wouldn`t stop crying. Sorry, whoever she winds up marrying.
I could see how 2 deaf guys arguing would appear to be gang related.
That awkward moment when the woman your dancing behind bends over so you can grind it, and you realize she`s just lost an earring and nobody in Starbucks can hear your iPod...
If I were a pilot I would scream “WE’RE GOING DOWN” every time I landed the plane.
The more I know, the more I forget! The more I forget the less I know! The less I know, the less I forget! The less I forget, the more I know!!!
WebMD auto dialed an ambulance when I entered my chicken nugget intake.
How many servings of fruit are in a fruit roll up? I`m trying to take my diet seriously now.
Got kicked out of the casino again. Apparently, gold chocolate coins mess up their slot machines or something.