Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
One of the most important things in life is perserverance. Hang on...perseveren...no, perserveer...pesever… oh, never mind.....
Ran out of post-it notes, now I don`t know how to remind myself to buy more.
I don`t smoke,i don`t drink,don`t do drugs. I only have one small problem, i lie.
I don`t have ADD. It`s just that everything is more interesting than what I have to get done.
I don`t know who you are, but if you don`t stop sending me phone books, I will find you.....and I will smack you with it
The bright side of getting attacked by a Cyclops is only having to use half the pepper spray.
I don`t care if its a scam! Just the fact that the Prince of Nigeria sends me personal email makes me feel special!
We`re all just nudists in disguise...
If the breakfast club took place now, all those kids would just be silently texting about their sh!tty Saturday & never make friends w/ each other.
I was asked what I would give the woman who has everything? Well…my phone number for a start.
They`re all cop cars when you`re this high.
I bet if Jesus had turned water into Vodka. The Bible would`ve been a lot more interesting.
If sex between 3 people is called a Threesome and sex between 2 people is called a Twosome... Why is Handsome still a compliment?
Just because nobody complains doesn`t mean all parachutes are perfect.
"You suck! No, you suck!!" - Two women in a threesome