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Eggnog is perfect for when you feel like drinking a glass of pancake batter.
Today has me seriously evaluating my policy of not drinking on the job.
Hunting is easier for vegans because it’s easier to sneak up on plants.
Behind every great woman there is a man who loves doggystyle.
Facebook is proof that people should not be allowed to name themselves.
I think my problem is that I have really fantastic bad ideas...
I scratch my a$$ way to much to chew my fingernails...
Im 6`1", blue eyes, light brown hair, fit, own my own compa......oh crap, wrong website, sorry.
Why is the jolly Green giant so damn jolly
When people tell me knock knock jokes, I pretend I`m not home.
Sometimes I use big words that I don’t fully understand in an effort to make myself sound more photosynthesis.
I wish Facebook wasn`t the only place I could block people from my life.
The thinner the eyebrow, the crazier the woman.
I may be wrong, but I doubt it.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.