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I may not be the best looking, wittiest, smartest or even the most successful person. I forget where I was going with this...
Of course I talk to myself. Sometimes I need expert advise.
Statistics show that 3 out of 5 people.. aren`t the other 2.
Somebody has to be awesome…might as well be me.
Having to share a room with your spouse is absolute nonsense. Even kids get their own rooms...
My mother might be right.. I was the reason someone invented birth control.
Nothing ruins a perfectly good mood like reality.
A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man
It`s actually the voices outside my head that bothers me the most.
When I see a hot girl walking by, I like to look at her and blink very fast and repeatedly so it looks like shes walking in slow motion. Everything is better in slow motion =)
This weekend, a woman in colorado gave birth inside a Wal Mart. Apparently, its the first thing found in a Wal Mart not made in China.
My parents say I was an unplanned child, which probably explains why my life isn`t going to plan.
I almost forgot to upload a pic of my Starbucks coffee. What a waste of coffee that would have been!
My husband picks fights with me like he doesn`t even value half of all his assets.
The cashier at this self checkout is horrible.