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Let me get this straight…a woman could pour hot wax on her legs, ripping all the hair out…and still be afraid of a spider?
It`s amazing what you`ll wear in public when you`re not trying to have sex with anyone.
True love doesn`t care about the look or size of your wallet, it`s all about what`s inside ..... the wallet.
The batteries in my electric toothbrush died before I finished. I`ve never sympathized more with women in my life.
You know what’s huge in Japan? ..Sumo wrestlers. ;)
Group Therapy: listening to ALL your voices.
One day we the women will rap the men lets see how they like it!
Happy St. Patrick`s Day to the fool that gave up alcohol for Lent.
Looking back, it was a good thing I was too wasted to fire up the chainsaw.
My girlfriend left the lights on, on her Smart Car last night. This morning I had to jump start it with my Android.
It seems like the ‘L’ in my luck has been replaced with an ‘F’.
Whoever said time heals all wounds never had their leg bitten off by a shark.
I remember being able to get up without making sound effects. Good times.
?"Cheating" is such a strong word. I rather call it "talent scouting".
I just called my boss and told him I have explosive diarrhea. It’s my day off, but I like to keep him informed.