Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
We are so fortunate not to live in China, they have to hide their posts in cookies.
Chuck-E-Cheese, because it`s never too early to introduce your child to poor nutrition and gambling..
My wife started clipping coupons to help save money. She keeps them in the side pocket of her $800 purse.
Why is there a show called “When animals attack”? It should be called “When stupid people go near dangerous animals.”
When you`re accused of buying someone a gift last-minute at Walgreens, don`t reveal you actually went to Walgreens a month ago.
Just saw that my wife was googling ballroom dancing lessons and now I`m hoping that she`s having an affair.
Unless its inappropriately, don`t f*cking touch me.
You have to hand it to Subway for convincing us it`s acceptable to eat an entire loaf of bread for lunch.
Don`t come to my door wanting to talk about the Lord. I don`t come to your door wanting to talk about wine and vibrators, do I?
Lame! I was tricked into watching PS, I Love You! It`s definitely NOT about a guy that marries his PlayStation.
ATTENTION: Upon further consideration, I am once again pushing back the debut of my summer beach bod. Thank you for your patience.
Just got back from a job fair. Very disappointed. They didn`t have one damn ride.
Remind me why I work 40 hours a week to be this poor?
Calories? I think you mean delicious points!
I`m great at balloon animals. You should see my eel, snake, and worm.