Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I have this great midnight snack it`s called, what do I think my roommate won`t notice if I eat the edges off of
The best moments in life are the ones you don`t tell anyone about.
Bored? Find group photo of 4 women. Comment "You 3 look incredible!!"
whenever I take my clothes off the shower usually gets turned on
20 years ago we had Johnny Cash, Bob Hope and Steve Jobs. Now we have no Cash, no Hope and no Jobs. Please dont let Kevin Bacon die!
How does one get suspended with full pay and benefits? Asking for a friend who is actually me.
I need to borrow someones kid for Halloween. I miss free candy.
Life is hard, it`s even harder when your stupid.
It`s damn funny when a wife think`s she`s punishing her husband by not talking to him for days..
Pretending I`m a pleasent person all day is exhausting
I`m one of the nicest a$$holes you could ever hope to meet.
I want my children to have all the things I never had so then I can move in with them.
I hate people who take drugs ... Customs for example.
is at the park. Unless you’re my boss, in which case, I’m at work.
I think germs are so nice for waiting 5 seconds before attacking food that falls on the floor.