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I met a woman on a dating site that said she was high maintenance when I finally saw her it looked more like she was in need of major repairs
Due to unforeseen circumstances, I will only be jingling "part" of the way this year, as usual ur patience is appreciated.
I hate when the person I Facebook-stalk never updates anything.
I did absolutely nothing today and did it well!!!
I always confuse the words exotic and erotic. That made for a very awkward conversation at my local pet store.
Anybody know where the cheapest place to buy 12 red roses is?.....just asking for a friend.
Revenge is not in my plans. You`ll f*ck yourself on your own.
All the good ones are either taken or imaginary.
You are right when you realize you were wrong.
Nice try, self-checkout lane. There`s not even any mirrors.
Taxes are like a subscription to your country that you can`t cancel, no matter how bad the service gets.
I give up on life! I have better luck playing Monopoly...or Clue...
A Shout Out to all the beautiful women who don`t need to dress half naked to get a man`s attention. Stay classy! The rest of you, come with me.
Mirror mirror on the wall, I am sexy; screw you all.
I often worry about the safety of my children, especially the one that is rolling their eyes at me & talking back right now.