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I don’t think it’s a coincidence that morning and mourning sound the same.
A woman is quick to reject a man that lives with his mother, but will accept a man that lives with his wife.
Who the hell invented Bull Riding? "Hey, I`m gonna hop on that 2,000 pound pissed off animal...Time me!!!"
When I`m sad, I sing...Then I realise my voice is worse than my problems.
I always say "morning" instead of "good morning". If it were a good morning I`d still be in bed instead of talking to people.
I know it`s 3 meals a day,,,,,, But how many at night?
A communist joke isn`t funny unless everyone gets it.
had a great time horseback riding today but then I ran out of quarters
LOQ "Laugh Out Quietly" because LOL is giving me a headache
Apparently showing the pharmacist a picture of my wife was not a good enough reason to get Valium without a prescription.
in wine there is wisdom. in beer there is freedom. in water there is... umm bacteria
Of all the horrible ways to die I think healthy eating sounds the most painful.
I am a gentleman, based on the clubs I go to.
Ugh, stalkers are horrible. You`d think someone could`ve let me know I was out of toilet paper.
Every store should have one line for people who have their sh!t together.