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you know....I must be drop dead sexy because....cashiers are always checking me out….
Not sure how coffee got its own table in the living room, but kudos.
Apparently "I`ll break your god damn legs" isn`t the problem solving skills that employers are looking for, at least according to HR anyway.
Million Dollar Idea: Hire a bunch of people with OCD and start a cleaning company.
Does anyone know how much water I`m supposed to add to this baby powder, to make an infant?
I wonder if people that live in Hawaii have screensavers of bumper to bumper traffic?
I`m not saying we should kill all the incompetent people. I`m simply suggesting we remove all the warning labels and let the problem sort itself out.
All my life I`ve wanted to learn to juggle. I just never had the balls to do it.
When a pizza guy comes to my door, I like to answer wearing the same uniform as him and holding a pizza.....and then insist that he called me
I’d drink a lot less alcohol if a lot less alcohol got me drunk.
As I got older my six-pack turn into a keg.
I`m the type of person who will throw away the manual and ponder for 3 hours "where the hell do I start"
What ? Who ? Exactly my point. Now move along and go read something else. Nosey !!
I got food poisoning today. I don`t know when I`ll use it though.
I`m not ignoring your calls, I just love my ringtone.