Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
My iPhone autocorrected "wish you were here" to "wish you were beer" ... I sent it anyways.
Dating: the process of hiding your crazy just long enough to get the other person to commit.
Reality is an illusion that occurs due to the lack of Alcohol
The easiest time to add insult to injury is when you`re signing a cast.
Hummingbirds are just regular birds that can`t remember the lyrics.
The best occupation to work from home as: Bartender.
I like to go to the bar and flip peoples license plates upside down, then go home and listen to my scanner.
As if " cray cray" wasn`t irritating enough, people have started shortening it to " cray"....that`s just stu stu
I can bench 250 lbs. And by that, I mean, I can sit myself down on a bench in a local park.
People who have more than 10 items in the express line… We see you and we are judging you.
Is it just me that finds it disturbing that you can accidentally make a baby but you can`t accidentally make a pizza?
If Mary Poppins floated in on an umbrella today, they`d shoot her out of the sky with a drone.
I wish there was a reality show where people learned grammar.
I dream about naps.
i dont have drain bramage.