Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
A lot of conflict in the Wild West could have been avoided, if they had built their towns big enough for another person
If intelligent people donβt start having babies as fast as the trash in βhoney boo booβ, weβre headed for a very dumb future. Am I the only one that sees this?!
I just gotta believe that as a species we`re capable of making an automatic hand dryer that`s quieter than an airplane.
My dog is worried about the economy because Alpo is up to $3.00 a can. Thatβs almost $21.00 in dog money.
I like when google answers my stupid questions because it means Iβm not the only one asking google stupid questions.
If you get pulled over in a Smart Car for speeding, you should get a standing ovation, not a ticket.
They say money talks, mine just waves goodbye.
Most of my thoughts have been coming from a very dark place lately. That`s what happens when you forget to pay your electric bill
I don`t need drugs to have a good time, I need them to focus, avoid depression, endure winter, fall asleep, and controll my high blood pressure
It`s damn funny when a wife think`s she`s punishing her husband by not talking to him for days..
If the cup is only half full, I suggest buying a smaller bra.
I don`t know about you, but I`ve thought about running away more as an adult than I ever did as a child.
Naked and Afraid also describes the last time I spent a night at a Holiday Inn
My friend is showing me her new vegan handbag. I know vegans can be annoying, but should we really be making accessories out of them?
"kill it before it lays eggs" - is my standard suggestion to any problem