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During the summer months, be sure to dress for the body you have. Not the body you want.
That`s like asking the fat guy to watch the pie.
there are so many scams on the internet now...... Send me $19.95 an I`ll tell you how you can avoid them
Life is full of disappointments, I`ll just add you to the list.
You know those orange cones they put on the highway for you to knock down? I just beat my high score last night!
Laziness: the habit of resting before you get tired.
Thanksgiving is an emotional holiday. People travel thousands of miles to be with people they only see once a year, and then discover once a year is way too often.
I`m leaving my body to science fiction
According to science the atoms in my body contain the energy of 30 hydrogen bombs, and yet, not enough energy to get up early and go jogging.
Some people are like eye-candy... I`m more like eye-meatloaf.
I love the phrase "boobie trapped" I mean, who doesn`t like to be trapped by boobies????
Facebook should allow people to be in a relationship with food. That would be my relationship for eternity.
How come there are never any restrooms in my dreams
If I notice an unfinished jigsaw puzzle at some`s house, I always take a piece home with me.
The 21st century: When deleting history is more important than making it.