Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Friends are like boobs... Some are real some are fake.
That awkward moment when your screen freezes on a really embarrassing website
Roman Numerals...what are they good IV?
I was late to work because I was having car trouble. And by car trouble I mean I was sleeping and not driving the car.
exactly how long is a cotton picking minute.
Trust me, when they make a pill that REALLY makes your d!ck grow, that commercial will be on during the Super Bowl, not 3am!
Sometimes I wake up grumpy but sometimes I let her sleep instead..
I dreamt that was dreaming, and then someone woke me up and told me I was dreaming but it turned out I had only dreamed that so I went back to sleep in my dream, all upset that my dream that I was dreaming was interrupted by another dream....hahahahaha.....whoa, need to lay off the Red Bull.
Is it just me, or is Fantasy Football basically Dungeons & Dragons for jocks?
My therapist just offered me my money back.
I can`t wait to find my soul mate so I can start sleeping on the couch.
Having a dirty mind makes simple conversation much more exciting!
Love is like peeing on yourself: everyone can see it, but only you get the warm feeling that it brings.
Men use love to get sex. Women use sex to get love. I use coupons to get pizza.
My biggest problem is that I believe almost everything I tell myself.