Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I am trying my very best to get into the holiday spirit but I cant open the damn bottle.
If you think you aren`t creative, buy a gym membership and see how many excuses you find not to use it.
My password is SupermanHulkThorGoku, that`s the strongest password I can think of.
What sort of drug abuse and debauchery has to occur in someone`s life for them to start liking Charmin Toilet Paper on Facebook?
I am not cut out for the CIA. All the opposing side would have to do is tickle me and I’d spill all our nation’s secrets.
I only call them yoga pants because Netflix and eat leftovers pants was too long.
Which emoticon indicates the desire to cover someone with fire ants?
Helpful Tip: You can’t get in trouble for leaving work early if you disable the security cameras and crawl out the air-conditioning duct.
shoutout to people who have money but still order off the dollar menu
I would offer moral support ... But my morals are questionable.
"Lets hang out sometime" -liars.
Some people need a shock collar. I need the remote.
If I ever get off this couch, I’ll be unstoppable.
LIFE always offers you a second chance,its called TOMORROW
Does the employee manual say I CAN`T set up my camping tent inside my cubicle? No? Then please step outside & zip the door up behind you.