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Two girls riding their bikes on a cobble stone road. 1st girl: I never came this way before. 2nd girl: Me neither. It must be the cobble stones.
The one good thing about an egotist. They don`t talk about other people.
Easy way to kill me: Dangle a spider from my rearview mirror while I`m driving.
"I don`t know why people dislike jury duty. I think being able to play god with others` lives sounds fun!" - How I got out of jury duty
I slept like a rock last night, meaning I woke up in the flower bed with the house key under my belly.
Okay, I can`t take it anymore. What in the hell holds the blocks up in Mario Brothers?
I need to stop making things more complicated than they need to be. I`m adding that to my bucket Power Point presentation.
I wish they made barstools with seat belts and dual side airbags.
Saying that your company has been in business since the 1800`s isn`t a selling point. Slavery existed then too...
How can it be considered stealing when the WiFi signal is trespassing in my house?
Let me be honest, I dont even walk a mile in my own shoes.
I hate when I walk into the kitchen for food and only find ingredients.
Shark week is over, but I`m not taking my decorations down.
It`s no fun having nothing to do, fun is having a lot to do and doing nothing.
I believe in the silver rule of life: Do unto others then run!