Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Saying the word "awkward" in an awkward situation only makes it more awkward. Especially if you sing it.
For once I`d like to see "It`s been a crappy year, mainly cause your were part of it"
How did the person who invented the first clock know what time it was?
Behind every great women is a man checking out her a$$
I`m at an age where I no longer want to marry a doctor for his money, but rather for the prescription medications he can provide.
FACEBOOK STORY: Add as friend – Approve -> Write something on wall -Intro – Everyday chatting – Ask number phone – Messaging – Calling – Meeting – Express love – Make relationship status – Hangout – Misunderstanding – Fight – Break up – Unfriend – Block !THE END
I know I`m an adult now, but I still hold out hope that money will fall out of every card I get.
Merry Christmas (I apologize if you`re not Christian). Happy Hanukkah (I apologize if you`re not Jewish). Happy Holidays (I apologize if you`re not happy).
Where have you been all my life? Can you go back there?
Why does using a straw make it so much harder to admit there’s no more soda?
When I was a kid, I thought quicksand was going to be a much bigger problem than it really is.
"Are you even listening to me?" is a weird way for my girlfriend to start a conversation.
If I ever get arrested I am going to ask for a status update instead of a phone call.
Being an adult is 99% wondering how you hurt your back.
I call in sick on full moons just to make them wonder.