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"I have almost $67 in the bank!" sounded a lot more impressive when I was 12.
Im at a beer tasting today..so far they all taste the same out of this case...well done Budweiser...well done!!
If my sarcasm confuses you it`s because you`re stupid.
The worst part of being naked is not having pockets.
The ideal man doesn`t smoke, doesn`t drink, doesn`t do drugs, doesn`t swear, doesn`t get angry, doesn`t exist
Always forgive your enemies. Nothing aggravates them so much. But if you really want to piss them off tell them you will pray for their souls.
Uhm, excuse me waiter... I`d like to return my food. It only received 5 likes on Instagram.
To-Do List : Nothing[?]
I Got so Drunk Last Night ,.I Walked Across the Dance Floor to Get Another Drink, and I Won the DANCE COMPETITION...!!
I just want to point out that I am an Amazon Prime member so it`s about time you guys started treating me with a little respect.
It’s like I was put on this earth so unstable people have somebody to date.
I like how the nice people of Sesame Street all know that Oscar the Grouch lives in that can, and yet they still stuff their trash into it.
Divorce is what happens when two people win an argument.
"It`s not about who`s right or wrong."~ The person that is wrong
If you’re keeping score in your relationship, I promise you, you’re losing.