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is available for rebound sex.
I was feeling down...then all of a sudden I felt myself up. Win, win situation! ;)
Just bought myself a mistletoe belt buckle. Wish me luck.
If you still pay for porn I just want you to know I have a butter churner and an abacus for sale.
Well I was gonna donate blood today until the lady got all personal and started asking "who´s blood is this?" and "How did you get it?"
My boss said “Dress for the job you want, not the job you have.” Now I’m sitting in a disciplinary meeting dressed as Batman.
In grade school it’s called bullying but when you get older it’s referred to as upper level management.
I’m taking care of my procrastination issues; just you wait and see.
I saw a sign that said "watch for children" and I thought "that`s a fair trade."
There`s a big difference between a mechanic and a surgeon when they work on a tranny.
Apparently, playing dead only works on bears not ex boyfriends.
You have 600 friends on Facebook but you have to take your own picture of yourself for your profile photo.
It takes me like three days to wake up in the morning.
Buy a "World`s Greatest Boss" mug and drink out of it in front of your boss.
Just backed into a Jaguar but I left him a note on my bank statement so he knows not to bother calling