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Marco Polo must really hate sitting near a swimming pool.
Let`s sleep in until it`s time to go to bed again
I`m thinking about investing some serious cash in gold....or maybe some other color.
Logging in to Facebook has become the equivalent of opening the fridge door and staring inside even though you`re not hungry.
Now that the Summer is over, I can finally stop pretending to be on a diet
I was just chatting with my cat about how being lonely can make a person crazy.
Don’t you hate when the whole bus is empty, but some guy sits right next to you? I know you do. That’s why I do it.
That awkward moment when you’re laughing so hard, you accidentally hit your head on something..
Unless your kid`s fundraiser is selling booze, I want no part of it.
Interesting fact: Prior to the creation of hummus and ranch dressing nobody ate uncooked vegetables.
I don’t love being single but I do love being happy.
I used to think I was overreacting. Now I realize it was a normal reaction to an abnormal amount of bullsh!t.
If other employees are taking four fifteen minutes smoke break a day, I should most certainly be allowed a one hour nap time.
I like to Party! ... and by Party I mean take Naps
I just wanna find a girl who loves me for my money. That way I wouldn`t feel bad for loving her for her body.