Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Of course I talk to myself. I need to have an intelligent conversation every now and then.
Love makes the world go `round, but alcohol makes it spin.
Mother mosquito: Hey kiddo, how was your first flight? kid mosquito: Great mom! Everyone was clapping for me.
For all the taxes they take out of my paycheck they should at least send me a picture of the broke ass family I support to hang on my fridge.
Someone asked me why I use the "F" bomb so much. What the F*ck is an "F" bomb?
Is life fair? Short answer, no. Long answer, nooooooo.
Im not sure Im comfortable with the fact that there is now a bunch of people in white coats furiously scribbling notes behind a big glass window while im talking to my therapist. Im suppose to just "ignore" them.
I know they didn`t ask for it, but I sent a stool sample in with my tax returns.
I`m changing my facebook username to NOBODY so that way when people post crappy posts, and i press the like button it will say NOBODY likes this
Worrying is like a rocking chair. It gives you something to do, but doesn’t get you anywhere.
Finally realizing that Hotel California is about Facebook. “…you can check in anytime you like, but you can never leave…”
Just found out my birthday is the same day I was born... Life is crazy...
Beer: Giving you the courage to talk to women but taking away the ability to make sense.
I am not retreating! I am advancing in a different direction!
I’m holding cheerleader tryouts for my fantasy football team.