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It’s a good thing not everyone has a smartphone. Someone has to honk when the light turns green.
Seems like you could save a lot of time if you just paired The Bachelor with The Bachelorette.
I bet Captain Crunch has some amazing abs.
How did the person who invented the first clock know what time it was?
When the sign says: DO NOT TOUCH I read: Touch when nobody is looking.
Why is there a Stairway to heaven and a highway to hell? There is a lot more traffic going to hell
Heads up, peeps. There are over 700 fake Obamacare sites ready to swipe your info. Pro tip: The real site is the one that doesn`t work...
I was looking all over for my ambition today......well, It wasn`t under this 12 pack, so I`ll look tomorrow.
I`d bite my nails less if there wasn`t always chocolate frosting under them.
My life is a constant battle of preventing my muffin top from becoming a pound cake.
Is it just me or does the word "retweet" bring up images of Elmer Fudd commanding an army on the defensive?
At this stage of my life, "Good in Bed" means not snoring or stealing the covers.
Technically, if you don`t cut the cake, it`s still just one slice.
I`m fairly certain that kids only have ears for decorative purposes.
I’m usually that person who has no idea what’s going on.