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I joined weight watchers last month, so far I lost 38 dollars...
Is the CEO of Kraft also known as The Big Cheese?
dear journal..im now the coolest kid in school....mom:SWEETIE THE CHESSCLUB IS HERE 4 U!!!
I`m starting to think that the Facebook status update I liked has had absolutely no influence on Government policy at all.
I wonder if the clouds ever look down on us and say "Hey look! ...that one`s shaped like an idiot!"?
I bet the guy who invented fake dog poo was upset the name "shampoo" was taken
It`s like my bank account doesn`t understand me at all.
No toilet paper.. goodbye socks
Life is so much funnier when you have a dirty mind.
My dog can`t hear me yelling at him to stop chasing squirrels, but he can hear a damn cheese wrapper from 500 miles away
You´re never too old to learn something stupid.
Surprise your wife today. Sell all her shoes and buy something nice for yourself.
I`m glad I don`t work in an office. I can only imagine the smell at lunch time when everybody opens their egg salad sandwiches today.
Chuck E Cheese: Because it`s never too early to introduce your children to gambling and bad nutrition.
A sure cure for sea-sickness is to sit under a tree.