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In terms of procrastination, I had a very productive day.
I was getting really depressed today but then I realized double cheeseburgers exist
I want the job where you push scared skydivers out of the plane...
New documentary movie about white trash ... I only saw the trailer...
My internet is so slow, it`s just faster to drive to the Google headquarters and ask them in person.
Definitely never want to own a small fruit stand in an action movie.
My downstairs neighbor thinks I`m a little creepy and that I overstep my bounds. At least that`s what she wrote in her diary.
Sometimes Google should just come back with an answer that says, `Trust me, you don`t want to know.`
I`m tired of doing math. I guess I`ll get my lazy as up and fix my clocks today
Facebook should have a limit on times you can change your relationship status... After 3 it should default to "Unstable"
When someone says "Surprise me", I quickly drop my pants.
I guess if you spoke your mind, you´d be speechless, huh?
I hate fake people...especially the ones at the mall advertising clothes in front of the stores
Just called the fire department to tell them that dogs pee on fire hydrants so they should probably all wash their hands.
Subway only exists because we`re all too damn lazy to throw a sandwich together. "Could you lay meat on that bread for me? Here`s $8."