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"You`re better than that" is almost never true
the WORLDS shortest joke..... "2 women were sitting together quietly
I`m not lazy, I`m in energy saving mode.
Sometimes I wish I could officially change "Hump Day" into "Smack-A-Dumb-Bitch-In-The-Face" Day.
Marriage. Because dodging your own family wasn`t enough.
Cars should come with two horns: one that’s like “Hey guys!” & another that’s like “I will end you!”
I bet if there were little basketball hoops above every garbage can, littering would greatly decrease.
what happends when chemists pass away...We Barium.
Christmas time always make me blue :-(( and then red, then green, then oh wow.. presents...
The grass is always greener where the bodies are buried.
R.I.P. 2013 (2013-2013)
You can only push me so far before I breakdance.
People with no money sure do have a lot of pot.
When my pc crashes, I go to the guy with the most action figures in his cubicle for help.
I know you’re supposed to have 3 balanced meals a day, but how many can I have at night?