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Next time you think life`s not fair..think of this x large clothes cost $2 more than large so why doesn`t small cost $2 less ? Being fat ....now that`s unfair
If its so great outside why do bugs try to get in my f*cking house?
The only time I`ve ever had a chip on my shoulder was when I tried to dump the entire bag into my mouth at once.
Happy 4th of July ... U can toss out the Christmas tree now
In space they just call it "Jam"
One of my favorite discoveries about adulthood is that there are literally no rules stopping you from eating an entire row of Oreos at once.
So....if the cup is only half full....I suggest buying a smaller bra
Well aren`t you a f*cking waste of two billion years of evolution.
I just used the self checkout in Walmart without needing assistance and they made me district manager.
Kid, I can take you out the same way I brought you into this world, by making it look like an accident.
There`s a bald spot in my yard so I`m gonna let the grass grow around it really long and then do a comb over.
My mind says go to the gym but my heart says food.
Pretending to be a functioning adult is exhausting.
I got my panties all in a bunch ... You know those Wal Mart 10 pack cotton bundles.
My favorite part of The Notebook is when I turned it off and watched Terminator 3 instead.