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Organized people are just too lazy to look for things!
When a bird bangs into your window, do you wonder if God is playing angry birds
Unfortunately, showing that much cleavage doesn`t fix your face.
A handshake means something completely different to a cannibal.
Who`s up for some curling in my driveway?
If this cold snowy weather doesn`t clear up soon, I may never get in the mood to take down the Christmas tree-
Heard Justin Bieber got arrested for drag racing. Sure it`s dangerous, but surely it isn`t against the law to run in high heels...
When I think of all the money I’ve spent on booze in my life, I wish I had it all back. Imagine all the booze I could buy!
Facebook account for sale, Friends included...
Tonight I’m going to have my favorite drink. It’s called “a lot.”
I saw a cool bumper sticker on a back of a SUV . . . “Do you follow Jesus this close?”
Dogs are God`s way of apologizing for your relatives.
Keep honking. I´m reloading.
I`m perfect you adjust.
I smiled and waved at my neighbour so I bet the first thing she`ll do today is buy bedroom curtains.