Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I wish I could afford to be as weird as I wanna be.
When I buy a horse, I`ll call it `MY FACE`..imagine all the ladies screaming `come on my face`
Two things I am thankful for: 1: Family and friends. 2: Caller ID, so I can avoid certain family and friends.
Hey! Did any of you see my........ Oh ! Never mind... :D How much of you said that before? heee heee hee!
I just ended a 5 year relationship. Luckily it wasn`t mine.
They say `No news is good news,` but I think it just means I have a lazy paperboy.
I will be buried in a spring loaded casket filled with confetti! I just want a future archaeologist to have a great day!
I`m just gonna let my pillow decide my hairstyle for tomorrow.
Why do people have to get ready for bed? I`m always ready for bed.
A sheep walks into a bar. Lots more sheep follow, the barman counts them and falls asleep, the sheep help themselves to free drinks. Genius.
Farting isn`t ladylike? Well, neither is giving a blowjob, but I have never heard you complaining about that!
Sometime you have to hand it to short people ... because they can`t reach.
Have you ever wondered if Dora is smuggling drugs in her backpack?
I can see your camouflage pants, so they`re not working.
If I didn’t drink, how would my friends know I loved them at 2AM?