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I miss the good old days when we blamed Marilyn Manson for all our problems.
I don`t believe women belong in the kitchen... because men are better at that too
"Everybody freeze!" -December
Nothing says "I dont take you seriously" like your dog wagging his tail when you`re yelling at him.
Sometimes, in life, all you really need is a lot of money.
The speed in which a woman says “nothing” when asked “what’s wrong” is inversely proportional to the severity of the sh!tstorm that’s coming.
I was sitting in traffic the other day. That’s probably why I got run over.
Sometimes, I’ll watch a movie that I watched when I was younger and suddenly realize I had no idea what the heck was going on when I first saw it.
No heel is too high when pointed up at the ceiling.
I`ve been hitting "remind me later" for about the last 4 years on Adobe.
I`m painting a blue square in my garden, so that Google Earth thinks I have a pool.
I finally figured out how to get rid of that annoying sound in my car. I opened the door and pushed her out!!
I`m smiling ... You should be scared.
I`ve honestly never been more disappointed in life than when I found out that the Miami Dolphin football team was made up entirely of people
My local news station says it gives us " news when it breaks " ...I want unbroken news!!