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Got caught up in a really good book last night. I didn`t stop coloring till 2 o`clock this morning.
From 8am until 12pm, my job basically pays me to think about what I am going to have for lunch.
Nothing is really lost until your mom can’t find it.
"Rear facing, pedal activated photon cannon" sounds much more badass than "brake lights"
Does anyone have the recipe for ice cubes? Asking for a friend.
I wish I were an octopus so that the answer to all of my problems would be, `change color and escape in a cloud of ink`
I have the rest of my life to be an adult.
When hipsters replaced hippies, we lost free love and drugs and got skinny jeans. Worst. Trade. Ever.
The first rule of Women`s fight club is don`t tell anyone what you`re mad about or why you`re fighting.
Whoever said, "All men are created equal", obviously has never received any d!ck pics
"Never go to bed angry" is the worst advice ever. I haven`t slept in a week!
Interviewer: Give an example of a difficult scenario & how you handled it. Me: I poured a bowl of cereal, but had no milk. I used ice cream.
If anyone tells you, you have ADHD. Pay no attention.
Sometimes I wish you could order Karma like flowers and have it delivered.
I start every morning with a simple affirmation: I will not murder anyone today.