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Helpful Tip: A ceiling fan won`t cut a bagel in half ... Not even on top speed
I hit a new low today and used a cheat code on Wii Fit
I’m a really down to earth guy because, you know, gravity.
The best job ever? Sleeping Beauty at Disney World. You just lay down all day. If anyone bothers you, it`s like excuse me, I`m working here.
Sometimes I get so mad at myself for being too lazy that I don`t even do anything about it.
I finally stopped caring what other people think. I hope everyone’s ok with that.
My New Years resolution is always don’t die. So far so good.
I only have a kitchen because it came with the house.
My iPhone has 2 million times the storage of the 1969 Apollo 11 spacecraft computer. They went to the moon. I text a lot.
Apparently saying, "You mad, bro?" is frowned upon if you work in customer service.
I hate it when I gain 20 pounds for a role and then realize I`m not an actor.
I have an eating disorder; I`m about to eat dis order of fries, dis order of wings, and dis order of nuggets.
My diet could best be described as, "unchaperoned child at a birthday party."
hell yeah !!!! i was the lucky sperm !!!!!
Don`t worry, kids. Being an adult is mostly just googling how to do stuff.