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I shouldn`t play with Legos!? It says "Ages 7 & Up". 30 is higher than 7. Instead of calling me immature, you need to go take a math class.
You know it`s been a good day when you finally take your pajamas off - and put some new ones on.
Bring multiple sets of clothes to work, change every hour, and act like nothing’s different.
A kleptomaniac in a bakery really takes the cake
I’m the kind of girl that would eat Doritos on her wedding day & accidentally wipe her hands on her dress.
Nothing says poor life choices like the guy with the half smoked cigarette behind his ear
My face is a 4, my personality is a 6, so basically, I`m a 10.
I don`t know if I have a stalker, but if I do could you drop off some beer? Thanks
I thought I was feeling a little bloated today, turns out I had my underwear on backwards.
just wanted to tell the weekend that I love you and I will be back, I will not let the weekdays take me away from you.
If I ever post something on Social media sites that`s not funny or clever, That just means someone hacked my account, Just Saying!
When everything is coming your way, you`re probable in the wrong lane.
I eat my Chinese food just like any other American, with chopsticks, one grain of rice at a time.
It`s 2013. With all the hormones in food and advances in medical technology, why are there still girls with less than C cup boobs?
Sometimes when I’m feeling lonely, I head on over to Best Buy and pretend to know nothing about my phone.