Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I can not be held responsible for what my face does when you talk.
Somewhere someone`s therapist knows you.
I always laugh at myself. If I didn´t, everyone else would be having fun without me.
Knowing sign language is a handy skill when it comes to identifying schizophrenics at famous people`s funerals.
That awkward moment when you finally realize what your rice krispies are saying to you.
Peanut butter and jelly. That´s what I like in my belly
Based on how I react when the toast pops out of the toaster, I will never look cool walking away from an explosion.
What a lovely winter we`re having this spring.
Sometimes I feel like a loser for spending so much time on Facebook. Then I remember there are people out there who comment on pornhub videos
Statistically, 6 out of 7 dwarfs aren`t happy.
If women would start naming their periods like hurricanes it would be alot easier for us men to remember which argument you are referring to.
Actually, when I went to New Orleans, I blacked out too.
Love your enemies; after all, you made them!
Birth control pills should really be made for men. It makes more sense to unload a gun than to shoot a bulletproof vest.
I thought kegels were like Jewish bagels