Mobile App Coming Soon - Daily Silly Status

Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!

I have something on my mind but I am not telling you, Facebook.
World Cup Soccer? If I wanted to watch someone struggle to score for 90 minutes, I`d go watch some of my single friends at the bar.
You poor thing. You don`t even realize you`re batsh!t crazy, do you?
Be friend with stupid people.., feel like genius all the time
I need to stop making things more complicated than they need to be. I`m adding that to my bucket Power Point presentation.
After a while you just get used to people not understanding.
Two of the most honest people in the world; drunk people and little kids
90% of the apps on my phone don’t do anything except send me notices that there’s a new version of itself.
I love everybody. Some I love to be around, some I love to avoid, and others I love to punch in the face.
Once you have to start paying a babysitter every time you go out, you realize most friendships aren`t worth it.
If you don`t remember her name in the morning, take her to Starbucks.
I have decided to follow my dreams.....starting with that one where I am naked at work.
Perfect girls are found at every corner of the earth... unfortunately, the earth is round.
I`m glad the Eclipse is over so I can go back to staring directly into the sun.
Netflix basically has every movie, except for the ones I actually want to watch.