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Do you know what would really be fun? ... No really.. If you know, tell me.. I`m bored to death.
Remember when double entry was an accounting term?
Someday, I hope to be so rich that I`ll never be happy again.
I like people. I just don`t want them talking to me. Or breathing near me. Or making me look up from my phone.
Sorry I said "You`ll Do" instead of "I Do" at our wedding.
How do you people have the time to hate a stranger on the internet?
You`d think that with as much time as women spend looking at their butt in the mirror they would be able to parallel park.
Having sex is like doing FRACTIONS... It`s IMPROPER for the larger one to be on top.
You can either agree with me, or you can be wrong.
How to Train Your Dragon offers no practical dragon training information. NONE. Zero stars.
I don`t care what the expiration date says, I have to smell it
I had my Crayola guy re-run the numbers,,, and there`s only 36 shades of grey
Remember when everyone died before gluten-free bread?
Space heaters are the perfect housewarming gifts.
A guy had his whole left side torn off, the doctor said he`s all right.