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something about today makes me want to be hungover tomorrow
I’ve had no formal martial arts training, but I know for a fact the Power Rangers are wasting too much energy on unnecessary summersaults
All I`m saying is, China could have a much better relationship with the West if they shared their dragons with us. But, whatever, be that way.
Men, if a woman is upset, hold her and tell her how beautiful she is. If she starts to growl, retreat to a safe distance and throw chocolate at her.
Facebook is the best place to say whatever you want. If it doesn’t go over well you can just say you were hacked.
There are no problems which cannot be solved through suitable applications of high explosives.
Relationship status: I make my own sandwiches.
You could give me 45 years to do homework and I still wouldn’t do it until the night before.
IRS: We`ve got what it takes to take what you`ve got.
Anytime four New Yorkers get into a cab together without arguing, a bank robbery has just taken place.
I didn`t break the rules. They were broken when I got here.
99 Days Facebook Free? Big deal! In 1999 I went a whole year without Facebook.
I`m so proud of myself, I spent all night putting my Christmas decorations up myself.. I`m now at the hospital having them removed
<-- Is my name! Isn`t it awesome!?
I call in sick on full moons just to make them wonder.