Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
How is it possible that we have one hand that can do everything while the other hand is all, “I can’t even hold a pencil”?
I don`t play sports, the only sport I play is shopping. But there`s a lot of walking involved in that. Running sometimes if there`s a sale.
I`m surrounded by sex addicts & alcoholics...So glad I found you all.
As soon as the Zombie Apocalypse hits I`m grabbing a sledgehammer and heading down to the local cemetery for the greatest game of Whack-A-Mole ever.
I wonder if people without dogs actually pick food off the floor?
Every now and then when I`m in a room alone I say out loud, "I know you`re listening". If I`m wrong, nobody knows. If I`m right, I just freaked the hell out of some guy.
It`s not really stalking if you don`t catch me doing it.
is currently amending my "Who gets money" list when I win the lottery ... who has something nice to say?
Not sure yet why this cookie dough has baking instructions on the package.
I need a "previously on your life" recap for the things I didn`t pay attention to.
Rap Music is like Scissors…It always loses to Rock.
I`m starting to think that all those hours in school, when I practiced writing my autograph, was just a waste of time.....
I probably shouldn’t have driven home from the bar last night ... Especially as I walked there in the first place.
There are many different ways one can save energy. I normally use the couch.
According to the 19 citations I got for trespassing and peeping, “neighborhood watch” isn’t what I thought it was.