Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
The way my kids act at Walmart, it`s just a matter of time before the security camera footage is a hit reality show!
I’m tired of things costing money.
Given the places I`ve had my tongue, no we cannot "just be friends".
“Hi I’m an evil ghost with the ability to defy time & space, but I think the best example of my powers will be to slightly close this door.”
I overheard this guy bragging about his fancy hotel sweet. Ptttsht. They are nothing but cheap a$$ mints!
Whenever someone says they did something, "like a boss", I assume that means they didn’t do it at all and are merely taking credit for it.
If the people in horror movies would just listen to me, they would still be alive!
How can I learn to be more patient? (I`m only interested in quick-fix solutions with immediate results please)
More people would drink responsibly if there was a brand of beer named Responsibly.
Actually, when I went to New Orleans, I blacked out too.
facebook is the only book we read everyday.
With my luck, I’ll die and get reincarnated as myself.
Im still waiting for Anheuser-Bush to name a beer "responsibly" so i can drink it!
I`ve often wondered: Who the heck is Pete, and why do we do things for his sake?