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We still don`t know sh*t about that airplane. - NEWS
I don’t want to be a millionaire, I just want enough money to be able to stare off into the distance while pumping gas.
A wise man, will often say nothing
Buying new Nikes, call that soul searching
Who`s up for some curling in my driveway?
Give a fish something for once for f*cks sake
Time to get out of bed and worry from another location.
Next time a guy asks for your number, write it down in Roman numerals. If he manages to call you, he`s a keeper.
is a mystery you´ll never solve
If your dog loves hanging his head out the window of the car as you are driving, but growls when you blow in his face, you may need a breath mint.
Im not fat I´m just easier to see
Why do people have to get ready for bed? I’m always ready for bed
On a scale from 1 to 10 how likely is it that your dumbass will say 11?
If I`m ever in the hospital on Life Support, don`t just pull the plug. Pull it and plug it back in. Basically, see if you can reboot me.
*Hears a joke about a chocolate bar* *Snickers*