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I hear Internet Explorer 10 is going to allow you to download and install Firefox up to three times faster.
Everything happens for a reason. Sometimes that reason is that you`re a terrible person and had it coming.
Redneck word of the day : Asphalt. It`s your own dumb asphalt !!
My friend wants to know if you think I’m hot.
Cleaning your house while your kids are still growing is like shoveling the walk while it´s still snowing
I like to go on drunk facebook post binges, then claim the next day that someone hacked my account.
No matter what you do on the computer you always end up on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram or Youtube.
I just burned 1200 calories.I forgot the pizza in the oven.
We must STOP the driver of that bus that everyone keeps getting thrown under!
Silence is Golden, unless you`re married.. Then Silence is Suspicious.
If people listened to themselves more often, they would talk less.
I’ve been really depressed these past few days. Finally visited a therapist and got diagnosed. Turns out, I’m poor.
Jokes on you hot chick at the bar who gave me a radio station`s phone number I just won Harlem Globetrotter tickets and a Bud Light poncho.
Why be part of the problem when you can be all of it?
Who ever says "words can`t hurt you" has never been hit in the face with a dictionary.