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"I`m single and ready to mingle"..oh god, is this why I`m still single, cuz I say sh!t like that?
You will never find the right person if you do not let go of the wrong one. Call me!
Facebook is serious. I put more thought into whether or not to accept a friend request than whether or not to sleep with someone.
How long have I been working here? ... Ever since they threatened to fire me.
Word for the day is asstard
I scratch my a$$ way to much to chew my fingernails...
Spent morning at the farmers market carefully selecting fruits and vegetables to throw away next Saturday.
ok ladies quick question?,say a guy wanted to wear a thong does he tuck shirt in or out? Asking for a friend.
I don`t use my cell phone in the car... I have to keep my hands free for making gestures.
Up to date Girl Scout cookie sales by states: California: 138,000 Boxes Florida: 129,000 Boxes Virginia: 126,000 Boxes Colorado: 8 Million Boxes
I don`t think I can call myself an adult until I can accept the fact that "dry clean only" is not a dare.
The baby gets furious when I try to undress him. Must get that from his mother.
The first rule of elevator club is don`t talk to other members of elevator club.
Bacon is the only exception that does not fall under the 5 second rule for dropped food.
You say toilet, I say alcohol vomit receptacle.