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Because of smart phones my thumbs now have biceps.
Is it wrong to tell a knock knock joke to a homeless person ?
Stop dwelling on the past and start f*cking up the future.
Sandals or shoes? I have adorable toes. All 12
It’s amazing how little information I need on someone before I decide I don’t like them.
Babe, you look Hot! Is your air conditioner broken?
I love salad! Just wish it had the taste and texture of pizza.
The fridge is a clear example that what matters is what`s inside.
Ohh sh!t, my b!tch button is stuck.
Maybe there`s no such thing as automatic doors, just gentlemen ninjas.
me + you = overpopulation... :) :p
If I was gonna make a bomb, I`d use the same color wire for the whole thing.
Hibernation should be a human thing too.
You call it camping. I call it getting drunk with insects.
Sorry I hung up on you, I didn`t mean to answer the call.