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The best revenge is happiness, because nothing drives people more crazy then seeing someone actually having a good life.
Adding lyrics when you don`t know the words or making words up when you don`t speak the language. ;)
Just because I`m awake doesn`t mean I`m ready to do things
My car broke down outside a massage parlor on today ... And again tomorrow.
"Dont make me regret this!" is something I say to myself every time I accept a facebook friendship from a relative.
I used to be a terrible flirt ... I am much better at it now.
This idiot from Apple reckons that the "Temperature, iPhone needs to cool down" warning message has nothing to do with all my hot selfies
Not every flower can say love...but a rose did. Not every plant can survive thirst...but a cactus did. Not every idiot can read, but look at you go!!!! lol
Note to self: Stop leaving notes to yourself, you never read them anyway...
Did you know you can buy live lobsters? Anyway, can I use your shower mine is full of lobsters.
Just looked at the price of baby strollers. I think were gonna have an indoor baby.
I have learned that pleasing everyone is impossible, but pissing everyone off is easy and fun as hell. :)
What did the crop say to the farmer? Stop picking on me
I don`t use cocaine, I just like the way it smells.
Bad decisions make good stories.