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Texting "Good Morning, Beautiful" will change a girl`s whole day. If you time it right, it will do the same for her boyfriend.
Everybody says waking up at 5 in the morning to exercise makes you feel great but I think lying in bed for another 2 hours feels better.
I just told my brother he was adopted, his response was, "At least they picked me"
I don`t know how many girls it takes to change a light bulb, but I guarantee we`d post pictures of us doing it on Facebook.
Maybe it`s the washer and not the dryer that steals the socks.
Guys i did not copy or edit this status of mine.Please believe this is my own idea!
My idea of heaven consists of all of the things I`d go to hell for.
The secret to success is in my bra.
Dear Toilet Paper Makers, We`ve all unexpectedly run out at some point. Please make the tube in the center softer. Thank you...
I just found out that all the people who say "You haven`t changed a bit" have been lying to me. :)
Every time I get a paper cut, I know somewhere a tree is laughing.
Yea, there is no "I" in team... but there sure is "ME".
I don`t understand the saying "you snooze you lose"... I hit the snooze button 8 times this morning and feel like a champion.
most teens are switching to twitter instead of facebook. noone wants to get on facebook and catch dad pocking mom... if you kno what I mean;)
So there`s a t.v. show called, It`s Me or the Dog?.. I was disappointed to find out its not a game show where people guess who farted